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JOKES

September 15th, 2006

This is borrowed from Forbes forum. These are rules for single women.

If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.

If you have 100 reasons to reject a man, expect to live alone when you get older.

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0 comments | jokes | Friday, Sep 15th 2006, 12:01:36 PM

February 24th, 2006

Found this on Britboard

This is truly a heart-warming story about the bond formed between
a little girl and some builders.

This makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that
there is hope for the human race.

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0 comments | jokes | Friday, Feb 24th 2006, 12:04:59 PM

January 24th, 2006

Guts vs Balls posted by bichen
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass, and having the balls to say, "You're next."
0 comments | jokes | Tuesday, Jan 24th 2006, 01:30:05 PM

January 16th, 2006

Google Joke? posted by cacheng
Go to Google.com

Type in "french military victories"

And see what comes up...

EDIT: It doesn't work anymore, but here's a screen shot of what you used to get.
0 comments | jokes | Monday, Jan 16th 2006, 01:08:42 PM

January 9th, 2006

More Jokes posted by bichen
Here's a couple more jokes from here.

I guess I'll put explanations of the joke here too since some of the jokes on the fark thread I don't get and I realize it's annoying when you don't get a joke. Yes, I know it kinda ruins the joke.

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0 comments | jokes | Monday, Jan 9th 2006, 12:44:03 PM

December 20th, 2005

Whore! posted by bichen
A man walks up to a woma in a bar and asks "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
She thinks about it and replies "Sure!"
He then says "Would you sleep with me for ten dollars?"
She becomes angry and says "What do you take me for? A whore?"
The man replies "We already established that, now we are just negotiating the price."
0 comments | jokes | Tuesday, Dec 20th 2005, 11:28:53 AM

November 7th, 2005

Airline Jokes... posted by nav
For eg.
11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

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0 comments | jokes | Monday, Nov 7th 2005, 07:12:13 PM

October 10th, 2005

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

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0 comments | jokes | Monday, Oct 10th 2005, 01:12:10 PM

October 7th, 2005

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the Cop so he decides to have some fun at the Copís expense.

Cop says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Cop says, "Exactly! License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

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0 comments | jokes | Friday, Oct 7th 2005, 11:39:36 AM

October 6th, 2005

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started!"

He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde replies, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend goes over to help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle pieces spread all over her kitchen table.

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0 comments | jokes | Thursday, Oct 6th 2005, 11:35:22 AM

September 27th, 2005

Donald Rumsfeld and his aides are giving Bush his daily briefing on Iraq. He informs the President: "You should know that three Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday."

The President turns white, and slumps into his chair, looking shaken. "Dear God," he says, lapsing into silence.

His staff exchanges puzzled and concerned glances, as Bush has never displayed such a reaction to casualty news before. They nervously watch the President, who sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "OK, tell me again, how many are there in a brazillion?"
0 comments | jokes | Tuesday, Sep 27th 2005, 11:18:01 AM

September 8th, 2005

Indian posted by bichen
An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

"Yes, how can I help?" asks St Peter.

"I'm here to meet Jesus," says the Indian man.

St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, "Jesus, your cab is here!"
3 comments | jokes | Thursday, Sep 8th 2005, 11:06:57 AM

September 6th, 2005

As Jesus was hanging on the cross, he shouted for Peter. Peter said "I'm here lord!" And Jesus said "Peter, Peter..." and Peter tried to go to him, but the Roman guards kicked him in the face, and Jesus said "Peter, Peter..." and Peter tried to sneak around the guards and they cut him with their swords and Jesus said "Peter, Peter..." and Peter, bleeding badly, crawled up to the cross and gasped, "I'm here Lord, what is it?" and Jesus said "Peter, I can see your house from up here."
0 comments | jokes | Tuesday, Sep 6th 2005, 03:59:56 PM

St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.

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0 comments | jokes | Tuesday, Sep 6th 2005, 12:40:51 PM

August 26th, 2005

I saw this in a Fark thread and found it funny.

A German, a Frenchman and an American were caught drinking alcohol in an Arab country. They were arrested, convicted and sentenced to receive 20 lashes each. On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the local Emir and his wife came to witness the punishment at the jail. The Emir made a short speech before the lashings were to begin.

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3 comments | jokes | Friday, Aug 26th 2005, 12:40:09 AM

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LAST COMMENTED
*i'll have to look it up. by bichen in Tweet from @bichen on 02/18/2011 at 18:33
*and she made tron! :) by bichen in Tweet from @bichen on 02/10/2011 at 18:05
*the low girl/guy ratio actually kinda paid off by cacheng in Tweet from @bichen on 12/21/2010 at 21:41
*nice!!! by cacheng in Tweet from @bichen on 12/17/2010 at 00:38
*wow. by bichen in Tweet from @cacheng on 07/20/2010 at 16:32
*the ocean dome by bichen in 5 crazy ways that man has replaced nature
*yeah i agree by bichen in Creepiest Places on Earth
*so wise by cacheng in 14 Marriage Lesson Signs
*there's no crazy teeth tho by bichen in 10 Incredible Earth Scars
*haha these are awesome. by bichen in Ads for Porn network Amour (SFW)

RANDOM READING

Smoosh (the Band) by bichen
Thursday, Jan 6th 2005, 12:33:34 PM
2 comments | links::music