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Letter from an Insane Girl posted by bichen

links::bizarre | Wednesday, May 11th 2005, 11:16:29 AM

Pretty... uh... interesting? Some guy had a LiveJournal that became popular and some chick started calling him and mailing him letters. Here's one letter. Since it was so GODDAMN hard to read I typed out the text as I read it (no, I'm not busy at work, why do you ask?) so it'll be easier for you. The parts that don't seem to make sense probably don't make sense because i can't decipher what she wrote. I left her misspellings in there. Make sure to look at the first page though because yes, she actually taped some of her pubes to the paper.

Continued below...

dear arafat

look red pubes! you don't have to send me any of yours or anything. i plan to pick yours out of my teeth someday. hurrah! i can be as lewd as i want without feelings of guilt.

just to prove i am red all over (& that i rarely shave anything currently. if i am not getting laid, i don't really care). i also sent hairs from other various parts of my body. if you are thinking that the armpit hair looks brown, think about the thickness? hold it up to the light.

now you know that i am quite a bit nuttier than most people. i am sure you will want to share it on L/J [live journal]. Just make sure you also state the reasons i don't shave are
1) i rarely leave the house
2) i am not getting laid anytime soon
3) i really don't care
not because i am filthy, i shower every day and wear clean clothes.

oh don't bother smelling the pubes. they are from the mound & carry no "scent of a woman" if you get my meaning. i plan on sissorlocking you around the neck & smothering you to death someday. i want the smell to be a surprise (like you haven't smelled a girl before but you havnt smelled me.) i dunno if i told you before (which i may have) i don't have inner lips so if i am freshly shaved & you close your eyes you can pretend i am pre pubescent. other than the heady bouquet of female & if you are good at what you are doing, a very womanly voice hollaring moaning & screaming thing that quite posibly would make a sailor blush.

on that note i have got to tell you more intimate details about me that is usually known as "too much information" or tmi for short. i don't know why the need to disclose this to you resides in me but you are my pretend boyfriend (as in you are not my boyfriend but when i have dirty dreams about you & other such things i just pretend that it was really a date & that we really had sex. yea this is sarcasm and its not done well) in any case i swear when i have sex & its going we'll on my end. i can't help it & its really wierd. its freaked some people out. its like tourettes syndrome in a good way, well, if you like vocal girls who utter "fuck" at high volumes in a really breathy way. i say other things but i wont put any in print so i guess when you pull your peter during a particularly torridy fantasy session in which i am a key player you can put a pillow in the microwave and stick it over your face (to simulate giant breasts) and think of all sorts of horrific things that may fly from my lips (along with the moaning and other sex noises)

see why i get stifled too long it all comes out at once. you get the brunt of the sexual tension over the phone & by mail. lets just hope if i hang out with people my own age before all the tension is gone that i don't end up sleeping with them. last time i was in a predicament when i was "dry" and unattached i fucked a 17 year old in the pasenger seat of his sports car while stoned and on xenax. i swear he said he was 18 but i havnt been brought upon charges & i'm pretty sure the age to consent in texas is 17 but not enough to say anything to anyone who might have me arrested.

you know, i think the only reason i am not considered a slut is because i am not underhanded, sneaky, in a state of denial, or stupid & heartbreaking about casual sex. i don't play games, i don't casually sleep with guys who can't handle it & i don't lie & say that i am not prone to one night stands on occasion. i am more prone to tell a guy he has no chnace of dating me but that i do need a guy to call when i get laid than guys. its kind of hard to explain. i don't whore around i just do what i want if the opportunity presents itself.

i guess you have gotten the opposite side of that coin. while i tell most guys i won't date them but i would fuck them. i tell you that not only do i have direct plans to fuck you until you jack up blood i also tell you that your not just in the pool of guys i would date but i plan to persue you like the scottish persue good haggis in america (hows that for an analogy)

i just have to get to boston but i am working on that or else i wouldn't be relearning basic algebra & studying vocabulary analogies. stupid SAT, but if i score high enough on it i won't have a problem getting admitted without community college.

if i had taken the correct english classes and didn't get kicked out of the math department (never tell the head of a department to "fuck off" and make joke about n-gongs to your ex-marine math teacher) i would probably not be in the situation i am in now. also if i didn't use high school for party time, but being a young druggie freak kid is my past & i must reap the crop i sowed.

to completely change the subject court tv & the show csi are very influential in my current state of mind. i keep thinking forensics is the way to go. i am gonna stick with being a computer geek currently but i think also i should stop watching forensic files to ensure that fact. i am notomow(?) for changing majors.

oh, i said something previously that you didn't believe. i am going to put it in print & maybe you will understand it. a voodoo charm to keep your man from cheating is to sneak menstral blood in the food you serve him. it works but it also makes the man extremely jealous due to the hormones & pheremones in menstral blood. it also can make the man so jealous that he will get violent and kill the woman because he is so convinced she is cheating on him. when hormones become imbalanced people get violently angry and the pheremones are a kind of bond.

pheremones can make or break an attraction. they cause problems and make fremales who hang out together a lot menstrate together. when you see a beauty & beast couple (especially when the female is the beauty) it usually has to do with pheremones. if you do research on it i am sure you will find it interesting.

i could give you more personal proof but that would be giving up my secrets. in any case i am going to get ready to mail this. have fun.

Comment Style: Threaded  Ordered  

Wednesday, May 11th 2005, 12:52:58 PM

Chemical Superfreak
Posts: 1503
i don't know who sounds nastier, this girl , or the one who got sued for blowjobbing a drunk guy. (although apparently, the guy had a girlfriend and the girlfriend turned the other girl in)


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