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What Kind of Asian Are You? posted by bichen

links::funny | Monday, Oct 4th 2004, 11:39:02 AM


If you're Asian-American then this might be amusing to you. "What Kind of Asian are You?" Featuring the Twinkie, Asian-American, FOB, Super FOB, FOBabee, Gangsta FOB, TAB, Hoochie TAB, Rice-Boy, FOBulous.

Pretty funny though some of it is flat out off IMO. Like "Asian-Americans" have heard of bubble tea but have not drank it? C'mon, I see white people, hispanics, and black people drinking bubble tea, how can "Asian-Americans" not have? And for the "FOBulous" having the "you date Asian by choice" - it's written in a way that it sounds like it's intended to be something to be proud of but it sounds kinda insulting to me. Like "they have so much Asian pride that they're willing to settle for other Asians". I'll post what I think is more accurate as a comment.

I stole this from one of Sam's friends.

Continued below...

What Kind of Asian Are You?

Twinkie

- Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
- You have few Asian friends, if any
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
-You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
-You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
-You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock

Asian-American

-You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
-You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
-You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)

-You were not born in America
-You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
-You do not have any non-Asian friends
-Your parents do not speak any English
-When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
-You get extremely good grades in school
-You cannot dance
-Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe


SuperFob

-Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care -You like dim sum chicken feet
-You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
-Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
-You dry your cloths outside your window


Fobabee

-You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
-You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
-You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie; Banana) or Black (Chigger ; Thousand year old egg)
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous


Gangsta Fob

-You have shot another Asian
-Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
-When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
-Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
-You have a serious gambling problem
-You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
-No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
-You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs


Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)

- You shop at A/X, Bebe, Banana Republic and Club Monaco
-You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up" -You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
-You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
-You do not smile in public
-You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
-Your cell phone is completely customized
-On the inside flip of your cell phoneis a sticker pic of you and your man
-Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car -You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend


Hoochie Tab

-You are an import car model
-Your boobs are not real
-There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
-Stiletto heels are your favorite
-Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
-You cheat on your boyfriend
-Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school


Rice-Boy

-You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
-Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form
-Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
-The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
-You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
-The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
-Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.


Fobulous

-You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
-You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
-You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
-You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
- You are a good dancer
-You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
-You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
- You have lots of Asian pride

Comment Style: Threaded  Ordered  

COMMENTS
i wanna be a born again twinkie
Monday, Oct 4th 2004, 12:02:27 PM
128.223.XXX.XXX
Reply

Chemical Superfreak
Posts: 1503
i think i'm somewhere in between fobulous and fobabee. I'm going to call myself a pineapple.
my opinion
Monday, Oct 4th 2004, 12:16:49 PM
159.83.XXX.XXX
Reply

head dork
Posts: 4964
Twinkie/Banana

- You are uncomfortable with hanging out with FOBs. You are comfortable hanging out with groups of non Asians.
- At least half of your close friends are not Asian.
- You are not fluent in the language of your nationality, if you speak it at all.
- You are unfamiliar with your Asian culture.
- You prefer to eat Western food. You would rather not eat all the weird Asian stuff (chicken feet, gizzards, blood, stomach, etc). You probably didn't know those things existed as food in fact.

Asian-American

-You can speak and understand the language of your nationality, but you are not fluent.
-A fair chunk of your friends are Asian, but very few, if any are FOBs.
-You can hang out with a group of non Asians without a problem and you can hang out with a group of FOBs without a problem but you're not fully comfortable with either of them. (Most comfortable with other Asian-Americans).
-You speak English almost exclusively.
-You are in touch with your Asian culture but not fully knowledgeable about it. (ie you know some Asian pop songs, some Asian movies, some Asian celebs)
-You would eat a fair amount of the strange Asian stuff, but some things you avoid. (chicken feet, gizzards, blood, stomach, etc).

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)

-You were not born in America
-You speak your native language fluently
-Your English is undoubtedly accented.
-Your closest friends are mostly FOBs or Asian Americans. In fact at least half time you hang out with your group you speak your native tongue.
-Your parents only speak their native language with you.
-You eat anything Asian. (chicken feet, gizzards, blood, stomach, etc).
-You know much more about Asian entertainment than American. Ie you know about all the new Asian movies, pop songs. You know most of the celebrities, etc.


AsIaN PrYdE!!! aka Asian Highschooler

-YoU lIkE tOo TyPe LikE ThIs
-You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
-You try to talk street. In conjunction with the first point you type like this. "hEy chiGGaHz!! CHeK AuGHt Mah BehBee!~~ PeAcE fOoZ!~~"
-You flaunt all the Asianness possible because you think it makes you cool (and give you a chance to proclaim "AzN PryDe!" even though you're not even close to being as Asian as FOBs (who you look down upon).
-AzN PrYdE!!!!!!!! If you ever find yourself proclaiming this, you probably fit in this group.
-In 5+ years after being this, you are embarrassed you ever fit in this category.


Gangsta Fob/Asian-American

-You own a gun
-You've been in fights
-You belong to a real gang or you have a one degree connection to someone important in a gang.
-Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
-When you talk, you try to talk like a black guy.
-Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
-You have a serious gambling problem
-You are like a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
-No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
-You want to have a TAB girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie TABs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)

- You shop at A/X, Bebe, Banana Republic and Club Monaco or any quality brand name store.
- You probably own a LV bag.
- You are the pinnacle of fashion
- You are probably underweight.
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
- Your cell phone is completely customized
- On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You will only date a boy with a nice car
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other TABs or your Rice-boy boyfriend


Hoochie Tab

-Your fashion sense turns heads but is not classy in the slightest
-Your hair is probably dyed blonde or light brown.
-You talk like a hispanic gangster
-Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
-You do not smile in public
-You like talking trash to random people because if they do anything your Gangsta FOB boyfriend will probably pull a gun.


Rice-Boy

-You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
-Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from its original stock form
-Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
-The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
-You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
-The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
-Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.


Fobulous

-You speak unaccented English and you are fluent in your native language
-You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
-You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
-You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
-You would rather date Asian because you would rather not lose your culture though you are very open to dating people of any race.
-You will eat anything.
-You are happy with your culture.
fob
Monday, Oct 4th 2004, 11:44:34 PM
24.30.XXX.XXX
Reply

Anime Geek
Posts: 327
fob stands for fobulous! i am fobulous. and asian american. though lots of ppl are mixed with many of these groups now.

"You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps"

hahahah this one reminds me of brendan in his supra or nathan.

btw, it still makes u login twice...?
the log in twice is
Tuesday, Oct 5th 2004, 02:37:18 AM
68.96.XXX.XXX
Reply

head dork
Posts: 4964
because you go to www.realacid.com not realacid.com (with out the www).

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