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Bad Jokes (that I like) posted by bichen

jokes | Monday, Dec 6th 2004, 01:28:42 PM


So Fark.com mentioned a Sun article featuring bad British jokes. Most of them were utterly stupid. So in the comments thread people posted jokes they thought were good (instead of those British ones). I collected a few of them here.

Continued below...

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.


Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Hey, it's kind of hot in here." The other muffin replies, "HOLY SHIT! A talking muffin!"


Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
A: Neil Armstrong WALKED on the MOON, and Michael Jackson has sex with children.


Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your whole week, anal makes your hole weak.


Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A: Christopher Walken


Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other, can you smell carrots?


Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!


So a polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a gin and ... ... ... ... tonic."

"OK," says the bartender, "but why the big pause?"

"Well, I'm a bear."


A loser guy with a harelip could never get a date. Finally one of his friends hooks him up with a girl who has one wooden eye. Their date a wonderful, and afterwards she asks if he would like to go out again. He says 'Would I? Would I?"

She yells back at him 'Harelip!'


Two strings walk into a bar.

The first string says, "I'll have a beer."

The second string says, "Same thing for meIOU#4v8kjl3n4jnb,.mn23lk4j2o9u8vsdkniuRJH#mn342.0000000124,vn."

The first string leans over to the bartender and says, "Sorry about my friend. He's not null-terminated."


Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting co...
Moooooo!

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interrupting coefficient of friction.
Interrupting co...
Muuuuuu!


What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still-no-eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no penis?
Still-no-farking-eye deer.


Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Sorry, but we don't serve your kind here...'

The mushroom replies, 'Why not? I'm a fungi.'

A whale walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Sorry but we don't serve your kind here...'

the whale replies, 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooowwwwooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiieeeeee'


How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the light bulb and the other to hold the penis.

Shit, I mean ladder.

Comment Style: Threaded  Ordered  

COMMENTS
haha
Sunday, Dec 12th 2004, 09:18:59 PM
69.169.XXX.XXX
Reply

Star Trek Nerd
Posts: 13
these are good...does that mean im british?
actually the british ones sucked
Monday, Dec 13th 2004, 11:14:34 AM
159.83.XXX.XXX
Reply

head dork
Posts: 4964
so people posted the ones they knew (i think most people there are american).

i just collected a few of the good ones.

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LAST COMMENTED
*i'll have to look it up. by bichen in Tweet from @bichen on 02/18/2011 at 18:33
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RANDOM READING

Dan Osman by bichen
Thursday, Nov 16th 2006, 01:03:40 PM
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